- A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o’clock and make it go toward 12 o’clock. But make sure you’re in the same time zone. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
- By the time you get to your ball, if you don’t know what to do with it, try another sport.~ Julius Boros
- Golf, like measles, should be caught young.~ P. G. Wodehouse
- Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.~ Jimmy Demaret
- Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~ John Updike
- Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. ~ P.J. O’Rourke
- Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent’s. ~ Grantland Rice
- Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ~ William Wordsworth
- Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it. ~ Ted Ray
- Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five. ~ Paul Harvey
- Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears. ~ Bobby Jones
- Golf is a good walk spoiled.~ Mark Twain
- Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. ~ Golf Quotes
- Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill scoured by a whiff of arrogance. ~ Alistair Cooke
- Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.~ Will Rogers
- Golf is life. If you can’t take golf, you can’t take life. ~Golf Quotes
- Golf is like a love affair. If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. ~ Arthur Daley
- Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it’s wrong but you can’t keep away from her. ~ Val Doonican
- Golf is not just an exercise; it’s an adventure, a romance… a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined. ~ Harold Segall
- Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. ~ Jim Bishop
- Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad. ~ A.A. Milne
- Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end.~ Chuck Hogan
- I’d play every day if I could. It’s cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart. ~ Brent Musburger
- I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right. ~ Ben Crenshaw
- I’ve spent most of my life golfing – the rest I’ve just wasted. ~ Golf Quotes
- I am the toughest golfer mentally.~ Tiger Woods
- I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don’t put the right address on it. ~ Jim Dent
- I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.~ Rogers Hornsby
- If I can hit a curveball, why can’t I hit a ball that is standing still on a course? ~ Larry Nelson
- If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. ~ Paul Gallico
- If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. ~ Joey Adams
- If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.~ Jack Lemmon
- If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.~ Bob Hope
- I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for – getting paid for doing what you love.~ Tiger Woods
- I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. ~ Will Rogers
- I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: it’s called an eraser. ~ Arnold Palmer
- I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.~ Gerald R. Ford
- It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.~ Mark Twain
- It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.~ Robert Lynd
- It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot. ~ Nubar Gulbenkian
- It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it.~ Bobby Jones
- It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.~ Hank Aaron
- Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.~ Ben Hogan
- The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. ~ Pete Dye
- The average golfer doesn’t play golf. He attacks it. ~ Jack Burke
- The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things. ~ John Updike
- The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.~ Billy Graham
- The real test in golf and in life is not in keeping out of the rough, but in getting out after you are in.~ Zig Ziglar
- There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray. ~ Lee Trevino
- The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing. ~ Phyllis Diller
- They say “practice” makes perfect ” Of course, it doesn’t. For the vast majority of golfers it merely consolidates imperfection.~ Henry Longhurst
- They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ~ Gardner Dickinson
- We learn so many things from golf- how to suffer, for instance.~ Bruce Lansky
- When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. ~ Golf Quotes
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