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Computer Quotes

• A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history-with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. ~ Mitch Ratcliffe
• A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely unnecessary to do before. ~ Author Unknown
• A computer will not make a good manager out of a bad manager. It makes a good manager better faster and a bad manager worse faster.~ Edward Esber
• Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.~ Bill Bulko
• At least my pencil never crashes! ~ Author Unknown
• At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. ~ Author Unknown
• Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? ~ Author Unknown
• Beat the computer, program your life. ~Author Unknown
• Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. ~ Edsger W. Dijkstra
• Computer programmers do it byte by byte.~Author Unknown
• Computers WORK, people THINK.~ IBM Corporation
• Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.~ Pablo Picasso
• Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.~ James Magary
• Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns. ~ Mitch Ratcliffe
• Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. ~ Author Unknown
• Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.~ Andy Rooney
• Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living. ~ Nicholas Negroponte
• Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes. ~ Dave Barry
• Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.~ Bruce Graham
• Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. ~Jeff Pesis
• Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is. ~ Dave Barry
• Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. ~ Doug Larson
• I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.~ Isaac Asimov
• If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.~ Author Unknown
• If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.~ Author Unknown
• I have always wished for a computer that would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish came true. I no longer know how to use my telephone.~ Bjarne Stronstrup
• I haven't lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere. ~ Author Unknown
• I just wish my mouth had a backspace key. ~Author Unknown
• In God we trust, all others we virus scan. ~Author Unknown
• I wish life had an Undo function. ~ Author Unknown
• Jesus saves! The rest of us better make backups. ~ Author Unknown
• Mac users swear by their computers. PC users swear at their computers. ~Author Unknown
• Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games. ~ Scott Adams
• Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.~ John F.Kennedy
• My computer must be broken: whenever I ask a wrong question, it gives a wrong answer.~ Ashleigh Brilliant
• Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. ~ Author Unknown
• Never trust a computer which you cannot lift. ~ Dave Boulton
• One of the most feared expressions in modern times is The computer is down. ~ Norman Augustine
• Putting a computer in front of a child and expecting it to teach him is like putting a book under his pillow.~ Author Unknown
• Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working. ~Dave Barry
• The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. ~ Werner von Braun
• The future lies in designing and selling computers that people don't realize are computers at all. ~ Adam Osborne
• The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.~ Nathaniel Borenstein
• The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. ~ Author Unknown
• The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.~ Edsger W.Dijkstra
• There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network. ~ Guy Almes
• There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer. ~J.H. Goldfuss
• Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data.Guess which has occurred. ~ David Dixon
• Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. ~ Clifford Stoll
• We build our computer (systems) the way we build our cities: over time, without a plan, on top of ruins. ~ Ellen Ullman
• What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo. ~ Dave Barry
• What boots up must come down. ~ Author Unknown
• Wisdom is perishable. Unlike information or knowledge, it cannot be stored in a computer or recorded in a book. It expires with each passing generation.~ Sid Taylor
• Yesterday it worked, Today it is not working, Windows is like that ~ Margaret Segall

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