Posts Tagged “funny”

• As long as I am running my father will still have a son.~ Brazilian Proverb
• Clothes put on while running come off while running.~ Ethiopian Proverb
• Get out of the blocks, run your race, stay relaxed. If you run your race, you’ll win. Channel your energy. Focus.~ Carol Lewis
• I always loved running — it was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs.~ Jesse Owens
• I would rather have a first-class manager running a second-rate business than a second-rate manager running a first-rate business.~ Jack E. Reichert
• In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.~ Josh Billings
• It is better to run back than run the wrong way.~ Traditional Proverb
• Men try to run life according to their wishes; life runs itself according to necessity.~ Jean Toomer
• Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into.~ Josh Billings
• Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.~ Chinese Proverb
• Running and buying don’t go together — running and selling do.~ Gerrman Proverb
• Running for money doesn’t make you run fast. It makes you run first.~ Ben Jipcho
• Running into debt isn’t so bad. It’s running into creditors that hurts.~ Famous Quotes
• The one with a running nose always wants to blow someone else’s.~ French Proverb
• Too many people run out of ideas long before they run out of words.~ Famous Quotes
• Two things are bad for the heart — running up stairs and running down people.~ Bernard Baruch
• Twenty years a child; twenty years running wild; twenty years a mature man –and after that, praying.~ Irish Proverb
• Virtue: climbing a hill; vice: running down.~ Chinese Proverb
• What is the use of running when we are on the wrong road? ~ Bavarian Proverb
• When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.~ Abrahm Lincoln
• You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you.~ Rwandan Proverb
• You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; in just the same way, you learn to love by loving.~ St.Francis De Sales

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.~ Agatha Christie

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman!~ Maryon Pearson

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.~ Mae West

I’m tired of love; I’m still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time.~ Hilaire Belloc

I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.~ Henry Youngman

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.~ Rita Rudner

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.~ Honore De Balzac

Love is blind — marriage is the eye-opener.~ Pauline Thomason

Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights! ~ Robert Orben

Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.~ Basta

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.~ Erma Bombeck

Marry for money, my little sonny, a rich man’s joke is always funny.~ Hebrew Proverb

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.~ George Carlin

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.~ Funny Love Sayings

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.~ Oscar Wilde

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.~ Albert Einstein

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.~ Woody Allen

The bravest thing that men do is love women.~ Mort Sahl

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.~ Funny Love Sayings

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.~ Woody Allen

The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.~ Oscar Wilde

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.~ Joan Rivers

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with? ~ Rita Rudner

You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.~ Henny Youngman
You can’t buy love on eBay.~ Funny Love Sayings

• If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down, these women together ought to be able to turn it right side up again.~ Sojourner Truth
• The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test.~ Karl Kraus
• The men who followed Him were unique in their generation. They turned the world upside down because their hearts had been turned right side up. The world has never been the same.~ Billy Graham

• Love from one being to another can only be that two solitudes come nearer, recognize and protect and comfort each other.~ Han Suyin
• May you have the greatest two gifts of all on these holidays: Someone to love and someone who loves you.~ John Sinor
• Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.~ Rainer Maria Rilke
• After seven years of marriage, I’m sure of two things — first, never wallpaper together, and second, you’ll need two bathrooms.. both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.~ Dennis Miller
• In love there are two things — bodies and words.~ Joyce Carol Oates
• In all people there are two sets of feelings: One is fear, the other is love. If there is fear, then we shrink as a person. But love, wow! That can move mountains! ~ Jorgen Roed

• Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.~ Raymond Chandler
• We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.~ Eduardo Galeano
• Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.~ Remy De Gourmont
• Never a lip is curved with pain That can’t be kissed into smiles again.~ Bret Harte
• Oh what lies lurk in kisses! ~ Heinrich Heine
• Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.~ Bernard Meltzer
• Be plain in dress, and sober in your diet; In short, my dear, kiss me and be quiet.~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
• A husband and wife often fight intensely at one moment and then kiss intensely at the next moment.~ Taiwanese Proverb
• Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.~ Helen Rowland
• I can forget my very existence in a deep kiss of you.~ Byron Caldwell Smith
• More!